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What to Send When Someone Dies Instead of Flowers

By Renee Wood, MSW  •   9 minute read

What to Send When Someone Dies Instead of Flowers - The Comfort Company

It's hard to know what to send when someone dies instead of flowers. Although sending condolence flowers remains a common way to express sympathy, there are many meaningful gifts that can provide comfort during this emotional time. 


Whether you're looking for alternative condolence gifts or thoughtful sympathy gift baskets, these suggestions will help you know what to send for condolences that makes a lasting impact.

Should You Give a Non-Floral Gift When Someone Dies?

While traditional flowers like white roses and beautiful arrangements remain popular, non-floral gifts often provide more practical support.


During the grieving period, the last thing a family needs is to manage multiple floral arrangements. A thoughtful care package, charitable donations, or a gift of service might be the perfect choice to show your heartfelt condolences in your own unique way.

What Are the Best Alternatives to Sympathy Flowers?

Some of the best sympathy gifts are the easiest ones to send. Here are ten meaningful alternatives to the traditional choices of wrapped-up blooms:

How Do You Choose the Most Meaningful Sympathy Gift?

When selecting an alternative to sympathy flowers, consider the relationship you had with the deceased and your connection to the bereaved. 


The most meaningful gifts often reflect the personality and preferences of the person who passed or address the specific needs of those grieving. 


A heartfelt message accompanying any gift will always make it more personal during this difficult time.

1. What Type of Meal Support Can Help During Times of Grief?

People who are grieving generally don't have the appetite or energy to prepare meals after losing a loved one. 


Dropping off smaller portions of frozen meals such as soup or casseroles is a good choice and practical way to help someone who needs nourishment.


Setting up a meal train is one of the best options, allowing friends to coordinate dropping off home-cooked meals for the family. This saves time and energy when they're grieving.


Not up for bringing food? Gift certificates for restaurants and meal delivery services like Spoonful of Comfort make great alternatives to sympathy flowers. They're easy to purchase, never expire, and can be used when someone is having difficulty nourishing themselves in their time of need.


Good friends can contribute gift certificates in different amounts and create a thoughtful sympathy gift basket with a personal note to accompany it.


Fruit baskets also make nourishing sympathy gifts instead of sending flowers. It's a gift the whole family can enjoy together.


For families with children, a gift certificate to the grocery store or an ice cream shop offers a good way to provide a quiet respite when kids feel overwhelmed. Being thoughtful about offering support to children is the most important thing.

2. How Can You Create a Living Tribute Instead of Sympathy Flowers?

If you're looking for non-traditional sympathy gifts instead of flowers, consider donating a book in their memory to a library. This is a wonderful way to keep their memory alive as a living tribute.


You can donate any type of book, but it's an especially perfect choice if it relates to something their loved one was passionate about. 


For example, if they were an avid gardener or writer, donate a book on that topic from educational institutions or good places that specialize in these subjects.


If the bereaved is a close friend or family member, you'll be able to select the best option to honor their life.


Most libraries allow you to add a heartfelt message to the front of the book, making it a remembrance gift that lasts much longer than sympathy plants or purple flowers.


3. What Acts of Service Are Helpful When Someone Dies?

Hiring a housekeeping service for a one-time clean or on a regular basis for a limited period can be a thoughtful gift to help the grieving family. 


This allows them some time to focus on healing instead of handling household chores that can seem overwhelming during this emotional time.


Arranging such gifts with a big group of mutual friends is the perfect gesture if you don't want to send traditional flowers.


Another idea of what to send when someone dies is to create a sympathy basket with practical items like toilet paper, paper plates, facial tissues, and even face masks for visitors. 


These small tokens will be used quickly when there are many people at the house offering phone calls and support.

4. Are Self-Care Gifts Appropriate as Sympathy Gifts?

Spa Image Lotion and flowers

If you know that a grieving person is tired from lack of sleep or emotional demands, consider sending them a self-care gift in lieu of floral arrangements. 


A gift certificate for spa services gives them permission to take some time for self-care and stress relief.


For example, an aromatherapy massage can be very soothing after dealing with loss. 


A self-care basket with a bath bomb, scented candle, hot chocolate mix, and other gourmet treats for a DIY spa experience makes a welcome alternative to sympathy flowers.

5. What Reading Materials Offer Support During the Grieving Period?

There are many supportive books available on grief, the grieving process, and self-care while mourning. A sympathy book is a great way to start the healing process and can be kept and read as often as needed.


Daily devotional-type books are especially helpful during the first month after loss. Attention span is often limited, and short readings can be a big lift. "Remembering with Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond" is a wonderful companion for someone who is grieving.


Consider giving an Amazon gift certificate as the perfect way to allow the bereaved to select their own book a few months after the loss when they may be feeling overwhelmed with their new normal. 


Such gifts make perfect alternatives to condolence flowers. They never expire and maintain their value until used.

6. How Can Journaling Help Someone Process Grief?

A beautiful journal is another great way to practice self-care and begin healing. 


Each day, your bereaved best friends or family members can write down thoughts and memories of their loved one as it helps with processing grief.


Sometimes it can be so much easier to express feelings and document special memories in writing.


This can also be shared in future years when looking back on good times together or sharing stories with friends about their life.


A journal can also be used for friends and family to record special messages about the person who has died. It can be left open at the memorial service, inviting attendees to leave heartfelt condolences for family members.



7. Can Memorial Items Provide Comfort After a Loss?

A memorial candle is a thoughtful gift to send to someone to help them remember their loved ones. 


It can be lit on special occasions, such as birthdays or the anniversary of their death, and will provide comfort each time it's used.


Aromatherapy candles can bring a sense of calm, encourage self-care and reflection, and make a unique gift that can be included with other sympathy items for a gift basket.


Instead of flowers when someone dies, a candle offers soothing relief to the nervous system.



8. What Keepsake Items Make Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts?

A memorial ornament is a loving tribute and thoughtful bereavement gift to remember a loved one during the holidays. 


It can be hung on the tree each year and will bring comfort as you reflect on happy memories of times spent together.


Memorial ornaments are keepsakes that can be sent any time, not just for the holidays. They arrive with a suction cup for year-round display, lasting much longer than sympathy flowers.

9. Why Is the Gift of Time Often the Best Choice After a Loss?

Perhaps the best way to support someone who has recently lost a loved one is to simply give them a warm hug and your time.


Spend time with them, listen when they want to talk, and don't push if they aren't ready.


Spending a few hours each week to help out a grieving friend or immediate family member lets them know you're there for them. This can make a big difference and provide much-needed support during times of grief.


After the funeral service, offer to go to appointments, grocery shopping, or even visit a dedicated memorial stone with them. These acts of service are examples of sympathy gifts other than flowers and go a long way in reminding someone they're not alone. Sometimes the best sympathy gifts cost nothing but your time.


If you need gift ideas on a budget, offer to help write thank you cards and sympathy notes, assist with closing accounts, or commit to sending a sweet message by text each morning or evening. 


These general sympathy dos are free but very valuable in terms of providing a helping hand to people whose loved ones have passed away.


10. How Can Memorial Gardens Provide Healing After Loss?

Many people feel a sense of hope in being able to care for something living. Creating a memorial garden gives hope for the future, especially after the loss of a pet or loved one.


There are many lovely memorial gifts to create a peaceful place of remembrance: wind chimes, memorial trees, a memorial bench, a bird feeder, or even planting their favorite purple flowers help keep memories alive.


While fresh floral arrangements are beautiful the moment they arrive, one of the best things you can send instead of flowers when someone dies is a gift they can enjoy over time as a living tribute such as a sympathy plant or tree.

What's the First Thing to Consider When Choosing a Sympathy Gift?

Grieving a loved one can be a very difficult process, and there is no single right thing to do for a bereaved person. 


When looking for what to send as an appropriate sympathy gift instead of flowers, consider the recipient's needs and preferences.


Whether you choose charitable donations to a meaningful organization, formal photo books, or simply offer your presence during current events in their life, your heartfelt condolences will be appreciated. In times of grief, it's your sincere support that matters most.

Why Are Personal Touches More Valuable Than Traditional Choices?

In times of grief, it's often the thoughtful personal touches that provide the most comfort.


While traditional flowers remain a common way to express condolences, a sympathy card with a handwritten note or a small token that acknowledges the unique personality of the deceased can mean much more. 


These personal gestures show you've put thought into your sympathy gift rather than simply following convention.


Whether you choose charitable donations to a meaningful organization, formal photo books, or simply offer your presence during current events in their life, your heartfelt condolences will be appreciated. In times of grief, it's your sincere support that matters most.

3 Key Takeaways About What to Send When Someone Dies Instead of Flowers

Practical support like meal delivery, housekeeping services, and acts of service often provide more meaningful help than traditional flowers.

Lasting memorials such as memorial trees, dedicated stones, or library book donations create a living tribute that honors the deceased for years to come.

Personal, thoughtful gestures that acknowledge the specific needs of the grieving person show your heartfelt condolences in ways that generic sympathy flowers cannot.

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