FREE Domestic Shipping on orders over $35

My Condolences Meaning - What Is a Condolence Message?

By Renee Wood, MSW  •   6 minute read

condolence messages set in flowers on ground

What Is the Meaning of 'My Condolences' Today?

When someone is going through a loss, the words “my condolences” are often the first thing we say. 


But have you ever wondered what those words really mean—and why they matter so much? This phrase is more than a tradition. It’s a heartfelt expression of sympathy, a way to show someone you care in their time of sorrow.


Whether it’s spoken in person, shared in a sympathy card, or sent as a text message, “my condolences” is one of the most commonly used phrases to offer comfort . 


But let’s take a deeper look at its definition , its emotional weight, and how to use it with sincerity.

How Do You Say "My Condolences" at a Funeral?

At a funeral, a short, sincere condolence messages often means the most. A simple “I’m so sorry for your loss” or “Please accept my sincere condolences” can offer real comfort to a grieving person. 


If you’re close to the bereaved person or family member, adding a memory or kind word about the special person who passed is a beautiful way to express your support.

What Does "My Condolences" Actually Mean?

“My condolences” is a formal expression of grief used to show that you’re sharing in someone’s sadness. It comes from the Latin condolere, meaning “to suffer together.” 


In modern use, it’s a way to send a message of empathy and say, “I care.” Whether spoken or written in a letter of condolence, it’s meant to offer tender concern during a difficult time.

Is There a Difference Between Condolence and Sympathy?

Yes, though they’re often used together, condolence is typically the message itself (a condolence message or condolence letter ), while sympathy is the feeling behind it. 


Think of sympathy as the emotion, and condolence as the action we take to show it—like writing a handwritten note , sending a sympathy gift , or making a condolence call .

💌 When to Use "My Condolences" in a Message or Card

The phrase “my condolences” works well in many types of sympathy messages, whether you’re speaking to someone in person or writing a condolence card. Here are a few moments when it's especially appropriate to use:


  • 🕊 In a sympathy card for a grieving friend or family member
  • 🖊 In a handwritten note sent through the mail after a funeral
  • 📱 In a text message when you want to offer quick, heartfelt support
  • 📷 On social media , particularly in comments or tribute posts
  • 📞 During condolence calls , especially if you’re unsure what to say
  • 📝 In a formal condolence letter , especially when writing to colleagues or acquaintances

The key is to pair your words with tender concern and sincerity. Whether your message is short and simple or more detailed, saying “my condolences” helps people feel seen and supported in their grief.

What Does “Please Accept My Condolences” Really Say?

This phrase is a respectful way to express sorrow. It acknowledges someone’s pain without overstepping. 


Whether you’re speaking to a best friend or a co-worker’s family member, it’s a thoughtful way to offer condolences while honoring the depth of their painful feelings.

Other Ways to Say “My Condolences”

Sometimes the phrase “my condolences” can feel too formal or traditional, especially if you're writing to a close friend or someone going through a very personal loss. If you're wondering how to express the same sentiment in a more personal or modern way, here are a few heartfelt alternatives that still reflect the my condolences meaning in a warm, sincere way:


  • “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
  • “Thinking of you during this difficult time.”
  • “You’re in my heart and thoughts.”
  • “Wishing you comfort and peace.”
  • “Sending love and strength to you and your family.”

These phrases can be used in a sympathy message, text message , or even shared in a condolence card. 


The most important thing is that your words feel true to your voice and the relationship you had with the grieving person or their loved one.

When Is It Appropriate to Use “My Condolences”?

The phrase “my condolences” is best used in moments of formal or heartfelt expression of sympathy. 


You might say it when someone shares news of a death, when you attend a funeral home service, or when writing a condolence letter to a bereaved person. 


It’s also appropriate when reaching out to victims' families , coworkers, or distant acquaintances.

Here are a few examples of when it fits:


  • After hearing about a death through social media or mutual friends
  • In a condolence message to a colleague who lost a family member
  • In a handwritten note or online form through a memorial website
  • As part of a condolence call or voicemail
  • When offering support to someone who lost a wonderful person in their life

By understanding my condolences meaning , you're more likely to say the right thing —without the fear of saying the wrong thing during such an emotional moment.

“My Condolences Meaning” in Today’s World

Language evolves, and the way we talk about loss changes too. While “my condolences” remains a widely accepted phrase, some people now prefer more conversational expressions of grief. Still, knowing the definition and history behind my condolences meaning helps us navigate these situations with care.

In today’s world, we often send sympathy via:



Even though the format is changing, the heart behind the message hasn’t. Whether it’s digital or handwritten, offering a statement of condolence is still one of the most compassionate gestures we can make. 


Especially in a sad time, people remember the tender concern more than the exact words.

How to Offer Condolences with Sincerity

You don’t have to be a poet to express sympathy. The key to getting the my condolences meaning right is to speak with empathy and emotional awareness.


Here are a few good rules to follow:


  • Speak from the heart, not from a script
  • Keep your message short but sincere
  • Avoid clichés like “They’re in a better place,” unless you know it's comforting to the recipient
  • Focus on the grieving person’s needs, not your own discomfort
  • It’s okay to say, “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.”

Even if you’re not sure of the perfect wording, your intention to offer condolences and be there is what truly matters. It's less about saying the “right” thing, and more about showing up with compassion.

How Do You Express Condolences in Writing or Online?

Whether you're sending a condolence card , posting on social media, or using online forms provided by a funeral home, the most important thing is sincerity. 


Use related words like “deepest sympathies” or “thinking of you” to reflect care. For non-native speakers, keeping it simple and kind is always the right thing to do.

If you're wondering what to say when someone is grieving, you're not alone.

Here's a quick overview of what this article covers about my condolences meaning:

Understand the true meaning of "my condolences" and why it matters in times of grief.

Learn how to express sympathy through thoughtful messages, notes, or simple words.

Explore the difference between condolence and sympathy , and when to use each appropriately.

In the end, the phrase “my condolences” holds a quiet kind of power. It helps us bridge the awkward gap between heartbreak and human connection. 


And once you understand the full depth of my condolences meaning, you’ll feel more confident showing up for others with the kind of kindness that lingers—long after the casseroles and flowers have faded.

Previous Next
l